Six Steps to Get You Started on Finding Your Birth Parents
If you are adopted and are looking to locate a missing mother or lost father, there are six steps you should take, according to adoption.org. They are:

1. Know the law: laws regarding the release of identifying and non-identifying information (a synopsis of your adoption as noted by the case-worker) about your adoption vary from state to state (even county to county in some states), province to province and country to country. For United States adoptions, check the statutes regarding access to information. Getting information about your adoption may be as simple as asking for it.
2. Keep a journal: write everything down - no matter how insignificant. Write down information about yourself and the adoption, registries where you post your information, names and contact information for your state adoption offices, agencies, searchers, and anything/anyone else you think has a bearing on your search. If you use your computer, be sure to backup to a disk or CD frequently so your information will be safe.
3. Register with ISRR: the International Soundex Reunion Registry is the largest, free mutual consent registry in the world. If your information matches that from another entry, you will be notified. The reason all searchers recommend registering with the ISRR first and foremost is because it is international and becoming more and more well-known to searchers on and off the Web. Register early, using as much information as you have (birth date, birth place, agency, your name, year of adoption, etc.) and add to it as you gather more details. The ISRR Web site has a form to download that you can fill out and mail.
4. Gather information as best you can: in the beginning, we all assume the information we know about ourselves and events in our lives is true, and this is the most reasonable way to start. If you discover that your adoption is connected to "black market adoptions," or that you were given information that isn't accurate, you can incorporate that into your search. For now, concentrate on what you believe to be true. Start with your basic information, birth date, place, year of adoption, and anything else you know. Ask for information from your parents and other relatives and family friends who may have been privy to information at the time your adoption occurred. Check your state contact person or agency for non-identifying information and either write or call to obtain whatever information will be released.
5. Write a letter: whether you are an adoptee, birth parent, sibling, adoptive parent, or other adult related to any of the parties to an adoption, write a letter. Once you have a contact point in your state, find out about placing a letter (and/or waiver) in the adoption file so that another adult searching in connection to this adoption will be able to receive it. Ask to whom you should write -- the state, an agency, an attorney? Depending on the state and/or agency, you may want to include your present location, information about current medical situations, and express your desire for contact. When you do send a letter to the state, agency, or attorney, spend the extra money to send it registered mail, return receipt requested. That way, you will have a permanent record that it was received, and by whom.
6. Join a support group: check your state resources for a support group.