The Downside of Looking Up Lost Lovers The downside of looking up lost lovers is, if you are married, it could lead to adultery. This is according to the research done by Nancy Kalish, a professor of psychology at California State University in Sacramento and author of "Lost & Found Lovers: Facts and Fantasies of Rekindled Romances."
Kalish said 80 percent of the people she interviewed for her book were married and committed adultery with their old flame. Kalish also found that these people who cheated on their spouses were not all in shaky marriages; about half of those interviewed by her described their marriages as happy when they reconnected with a lost girlfriend or lost lover.
So if you are married and have the urge to find a lost girlfriend or lost lover, or an old flame has found you and you are worried about infidelity, here are some things you can do:
- Keep the relationship to email only, but know that some spouses will be hurt by what they deem is "online infidelity."
- Remember that although the relationship may feel comfortable and familiar, it ended for a reason.
- Seek a therapist in your area to talk over your feelings through The American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy.
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